wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
