You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
