none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
