I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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