she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
