if you like me you must not know who I am
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
