Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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