I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
