ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
