too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize