new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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