...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
