I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
