then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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