she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
