Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
