I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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