ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My vagina just recognized that song.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
