I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You dont lie about slip and slides
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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