Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
