ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
