I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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