the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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