Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
