Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
