Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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