I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
