I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
