I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
