I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize