i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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