When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
