Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
