I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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