Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
high people should be assigned attendants
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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