who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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