i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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