I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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