if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
