Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
