Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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