I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize