All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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