Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
