This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
