and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
