Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
