so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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