He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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