its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
