I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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