The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
