We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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