oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
