He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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