i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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